Grandparents Sometimes Have Rights Too
Joint custody or sole custody? Couples getting divorced need to decide how to best serve their children going forward once the dust settles. Watching from the sideline – usually with great apprehension – are other interested parties, most often grandparents.
Divorces are dicey affairs and keeping everything straight is difficult enough for anyone, so things like grandparent rights probably won’t be high on your checklist of items to consider. Maybe it should be.
Even though our society has changed and people don’t live within walking distance of their close relatives, grandparents often feel they have a proprietary right to see their grandchildren and actually go to court to fight for those rights. Just a check of newspaper stories and the internet will show this phenomenon is growing and case law is piling up in many states around the country.
There is even a national organization, Grandparents Rights Organization (GRO) that stumps for grandparents to share in their grandkids’ lives, through court-ordered intervention at times. However, experts usually agree that court should be the avenue of last resort.
In New York, grandparents do not have an automatic right to visitation with their grandchildren. When grandparents petition for visitation, the Court undertakes a two-part inquiry: First, it must find that the grandparents have standing based on the death of the grandchild’s parent (usually the grandparents’ child) or other equitable circumstances which permit the court to entertain the petition. If it concludes that the grandparents have established the right to be heard, then it must determine whether visitation is in the best interest of the child.
The legal niceties aside, in divorce there are sound practical reasons to maintain the good relationship that your children have with their grandparents. Contention with former in-laws doesn’t have to be the norm, and you may very well find allies in them. Allowing your children to maintain a loving relationship with their grandparents might help them adjust during these difficult times.
Other things to consider:
- Is it fair to your children to be denied visits from the parents of your former spouse?
- Are the kids safe and happy when they are with their grandparents?
- Are you using the children as a weapon against your former spouse?
- Children need family during and after a divorce and grandparents often love their grandchildren unconditionally.
- Visiting with grandparents can give you a much-needed break and the chance to recharge your own battery.
