Westchester Divorce Blog

The biggest mistake you can make during divorce is to have too much time on your hands.  Being idle during this process is to be avoided, because for most people divorce is a difficult process, and you will need distractions to help you cope.

Children may be one thing to focus on, but they can’t be all you have going on.  If you work, great!  Work can be the greatest distraction of all, because it has nothing to do with your spouse and everything to do with you.  For those who haven’t had a job in a while and need to brush up on their skills, you are in luck.  These days there are many alternatives for repositioning your skills for jobs in the 21^st century.

·      Local four year and/or community colleges – Community college classes are usually very inexpensive. There are also great networking opportunities in a college setting.

·      On-line schools – These are popping up in increasing numbers and some of them are quite good.  I would suggest doing a search on any on-line school you are considering to see if graduates have good things to say about it.

·      Volunteering – This is a great way to meet new people in a low-stress way, commiserate over your lives, and sometimes develop new skill sets in a less competitive environment.

·      Re-connect with old friends.  They know you, and if they find you in a rut they can help pull you out.

These are but a few examples of things you can do to keep busy during divorce.  Friends, relatives, clergy, and your lawyer might have some more ideas.  Be open, and maybe you will discover things you’ve never even considered before.

January 19th 2009 Posted to General
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I am not someone who subscribes to the idea of New Year’s resolutions. How many people have promised to lose weight, take better care of themselves, eat better, and promise to be nicer to  . . .? But when it comes to people going through a divorce, taking stock in the beginning of the year makes sense.  Spend some time writing down things you’d like to accomplish, and create a plan that will work for you and your circumstances.

Always keep in mind these should be realistic goals, not difficult to reach dreams.   Some examples might include:

·      If you didn’t work hard enough to establish a working dialogue with your former spouse, a new year can act as a starting point to try something new.  Create a working partnership with regard to child-rearing and other parental issues.

·      Join a group of people who share your interests

·      Reconnect with old friends

·      Set aside time for you to be with your kids

·      Be good to yourself

None of these things require massive infusions of cash, but a little planning, some workable goals, and a good attitude looking forward can help make 2009 a better year that 2008.  So Happy New Year to everyone!

January 11th 2009 Posted to General
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